hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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