4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
