I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
