she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
