my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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