It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
