sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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