Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so let's talk penis.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
