awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
