All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
