You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
