4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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