I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
