Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
