We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize