I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize