how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize