i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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