There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
