Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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