When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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