sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
