I am puke
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
