i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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