I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize