i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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