I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
