She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
