Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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