My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
