fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
