"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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