btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just made my gag reflex go away.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize