im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
