so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
