At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize