I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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