how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
