so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
