oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
