shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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