I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
