I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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