I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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