My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How does one acquire holy water?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
