i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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