u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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