My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
