I'm gonna have a badass scar
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
