i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
