My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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