Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize