i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
