He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
