sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Michael Bay diarrhea
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i've created a new STD.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
