At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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