So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
