my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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