How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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