Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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