the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
