So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
