Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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